I have moved all of my 2018 posts to my new online home.
I will continue to post there.
Find me at:
cristinaslabic.com
life is training
because God is sovereign and no experience is wasted
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
Friday, January 19, 2018
The Most Important Thing to Pray for People You Love
In the last few years, I've grown in my amazement at the fact that we can pray. We are actually invited to talk to the Creator of the universe. He tells us He is listening.
There are so many other things to say about that, and I want to explore them. But for now, I want to simply stand amazed that He listens to us.
When I was a young mom, I prayed for all sorts of things for my one child. I actually prayed AGAINST a lot of things. That she wouldn't be sick. That she wouldn't be hurt. That she wouldn't be influenced by bad friends. That she wouldn't join a cult.
It was amazing how quickly the ideas of what could happen got really ridiculous.
I did pray for the right things to happen. For normal development. For good friends. For strong character. For an obedient heart. For wisdom. For impact.
I am wired to look at possibilities and scenarios. And it was backfiring on me. I was SO anxious. I somehow imagined that it was up to me to pray for the right things. I had to be so specific if I wanted it to happen.
And I will tell you that being specific is not bad. But in this case, it was clouding things.
It wasn't until I started praying for my own anxiety that I had an epiphany.
I wanted peace. I prayed for peace. For me. For my daughter. For our family.
I started praying from Philippians 4 (NLT):
6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
I would tell Him all I needed, or what I thought I needed. What my family needed. I thanked Him for what He had done. I started looking at how He had been faithful so far.
Then one day, I read further:
8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.
and there I saw it!
To have the peace of God, you need the God of peace.
True peace comes from having a relationship with God.
So the whole list of prayers from an anxious momma simply became, "Give them You, Lord."
There was also another verse God used to cement this line of thinking.
Romans 8:28 (NLT)
28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
WHATEVER bad or good thing happened to my kid(s), they are covered by this promise. All will be used for their good IF they are His.
So, I prayed for their salvation.
Once a child is a professing, growing believer, they get the benefit of prayers for wisdom and discernment. Specific prayers for specific seasons. But until they know Jesus, the only valid thing to pray is that they will respond to the free gift of God that is Jesus as Savior.
That is also the case for others who don't know Jesus. I don't pray for their health and ease in life. I don't pray for happy relationships and good jobs. I pray for their eyes to see Jesus!
Because if they never have anything "bad" happen, and their life is considered "perfect" and "charmed," but they don't know Jesus. What would it really have mattered? This life is a breath in light of their eternity.
Wednesday, January 17, 2018
Happy New Year...Again
It is NEVER too late to start again. As long as you have breath, you can start over.
There is nothing magical about January 1.
Don't believe the lie that you've already blown it.
Take a deep breath and start again.
Friday, January 12, 2018
FOUR Steps to Build Discipline Muscle
There is a difference between things you want to accomplish and things you want to start doing.
The goal is that you are working on your discipline--and like any muscle that starts off small and weak, you are building it up.
Baby steps will still get you there!
If you want to get up earlier, just set your alarm for FIVE minutes earlier. Maybe THREE minutes. Something small and easy. And as that becomes the new normal, keep moving earlier and earlier. Keep the increment small and take your time.
When you make a list of things to do, usually those are all mixed together. Right?
Things that get done, but then have to get done again next time you need to go to the grocery store or do the laundry.
A project, however big or small, can be "checked off." You can install shelves. Or you can build a patio. Or you can organize the sock drawer. Or you can plan a party. It has a "finished" or "done" state.
Habits are things you want to start doing with regular frequency. You want to floss every day. Or you want to do some sort of exercise three times a week. Or you want to vacuum your car out once a month. Or you want to have date night with your spouse every other week. Or pray every day for your kids.
Obviously, there is no "finished" on those.
Making recurring things "habits" and not "projects" has made a big difference in how I run my home and my life. Recurring tasks or appointments can be SCHEDULED or tied to something that is already happening at that frequency.
FOUR Steps to Build Discipline Muscle
While I cannot give specific advice about what YOU can do to install new habits, here are some steps you can take.
1. Decide WHAT habit you want to develop.
2. Find a baby step. Make it so small and easy that you won't have an excuse to skip it.
3. Tie it to something you're already doing.
4. Once you "automate" it, go to the next baby step.
The goal is that you are working on your discipline--and like any muscle that starts off small and weak, you are building it up.
Baby steps will still get you there!
Some Examples
If you want to get up earlier, just set your alarm for FIVE minutes earlier. Maybe THREE minutes. Something small and easy. And as that becomes the new normal, keep moving earlier and earlier. Keep the increment small and take your time.
Or maybe keeping the kitchen clear is what you want. Start with just keeping all the dishes in one spot, or rinsing as you stack, or clearing the sink. Or emptying the dishwasher as your coffee brews.
Pick a baby step and add it in. Let it become a habit.
I would love to talk specific ideas with you, but all depends on where you are and what's important to you. Let's all help each other find the baby steps.
NOTE: the comments area is finicky, I hear. But if you are wondering how to get started, comment below. Just use "anonymous" and sign your first name in the body of the message.
What do you want to start doing?
NOTE: the comments area is finicky, I hear. But if you are wondering how to get started, comment below. Just use "anonymous" and sign your first name in the body of the message.
Wednesday, January 10, 2018
Savoring Truth Today
On Monday, we sang this at my Bible study meeting. It is one of my favorites and I am overcome each time I sing it. I am amazed. I am grieved. I am grateful.
Can I tell you a bit about what goes through my head?
Jesus is my ONLY hope. Because of Him I can look forward to a beautiful eternity--no matter how bad it gets, I don't have to despair. One day all will be made right and new and perfect. I can actively hope as I wait for that day. This isn't a "wish," as in "I wish that things turn out for the best." It is a firm trust because I KNOW it is certain.
Jesus sheds light on the world around me and even in my own soul. He gives me strength for each moment of my day. His love is wide and deep. I can rest in Him and be still. He comforts me. All of this causes my soul to SING. What a gift from God music is!
It's Christmas, y'all! The Almighty Creator of the Universe poured Himself into a tiny human baby. Infants are totally vulnerable because EVERYTHING has to be done for them. He chose to do that! For us! What love! And yet, He was rejected and persecuted by those He came to rescue. He was executed as a criminal, to die a horrid death. Crucifixion has been reported as the most cruel way to administer capital punishment. And this is how Jesus took the wrath of God.
The eternal and unending God paid for all the sin of all humans for all time, past, present, future--all on Him. Good Friday. Not good for Jesus in that the wrath of God that was meant for me, for you, for the entire world. He put on our sin and gave us His righteousness. What an exchange! And because of His death, I can live. What mercy! What grace!
They took Him down off that cross and laid Him in a rich man's tomb. I wonder how Satan celebrated since he thought he'd won. Poor devil, had no clue Sunday was coming. Easter!!! The amazing power of God brought Jesus back to life. And not just gave breath to that beaten and mutilated body that had been put in the tomb days before, but glorified Him. The power of God transformed Jesus' body to a new and perfect one that would never see death again!
He is victorious over death and because I am His, that enemy has been defeated, de-fanged. I don't have to fear--it has NOTHING on me! I belong to Jesus, His blood bought me from the marketplace of sin.
And NOW, there is no condemnation, nor will there ever be for any one who belongs to Jesus. The enemy can't accuse us of owing anything--Jesus paid that debt in full! So I can live and not be afraid of anything, not even death. Because the power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in me. Whoa!
He is in charge of my life until my time on this earth is done. NOTHING can thwart His will for me--not even me! I cannot screw up the plans God has. So until He calls me home or comes back for me and I meet Him in the air, I will STAND firm in the power of the Spirit of God, who is the author of salvation.
I mean, who would have thought this up? The HERO created people. They screwed up. The HERO knew that the only way to make things right was for Him to come and live on earth as a human. He would live a perfect life, and die in the worst way possible--so that He could be the perfect substitute, a spotless Lamb that takes away the sin of the world.
What MERCY--we don't get what we deserve. We deserve to suffer the consequences of not being able to pay our debt. He paid our debt. But not just that. GRACE--He lavishes on us grace upon grace because of His resurrection. He shows us favor and gives us all that we need for this life, to live it for Him.
He doesn't promise us ease and comfort--don't be fooled to believe your life will be "fixed" and you'll be healthy and wealthy. He promises Himself and the riches and glory of eternity with Him.
While we're on this earth, we live with God's power in us. We are part of His Forever Family!
Only because of Jesus.
Thank you, Lord!
Can I tell you a bit about what goes through my head?
In Christ Alone
(Getty, Townsend)
In Christ alone, my hope is found, He is my light, my strength, my song;
This Cornerstone, this solid Ground, firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace, when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All, here in the love of Christ I stand.
Jesus is my ONLY hope. Because of Him I can look forward to a beautiful eternity--no matter how bad it gets, I don't have to despair. One day all will be made right and new and perfect. I can actively hope as I wait for that day. This isn't a "wish," as in "I wish that things turn out for the best." It is a firm trust because I KNOW it is certain.
Jesus sheds light on the world around me and even in my own soul. He gives me strength for each moment of my day. His love is wide and deep. I can rest in Him and be still. He comforts me. All of this causes my soul to SING. What a gift from God music is!
In Christ alone, who took on flesh, Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness, scorned by the ones He came to save.
Till on that cross as Jesus died, the wrath of God was satisfied.
For ev'ry sin on Him was laid; Here in the death of Christ I live.
It's Christmas, y'all! The Almighty Creator of the Universe poured Himself into a tiny human baby. Infants are totally vulnerable because EVERYTHING has to be done for them. He chose to do that! For us! What love! And yet, He was rejected and persecuted by those He came to rescue. He was executed as a criminal, to die a horrid death. Crucifixion has been reported as the most cruel way to administer capital punishment. And this is how Jesus took the wrath of God.
The eternal and unending God paid for all the sin of all humans for all time, past, present, future--all on Him. Good Friday. Not good for Jesus in that the wrath of God that was meant for me, for you, for the entire world. He put on our sin and gave us His righteousness. What an exchange! And because of His death, I can live. What mercy! What grace!
There in the ground His body lay, Light of the world by darkness slain;
Then bursting forth in glorious Day, Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory, sin's curse has lost its grip on me;
For I am His and He is mine, bought with the precious blood of Christ.
They took Him down off that cross and laid Him in a rich man's tomb. I wonder how Satan celebrated since he thought he'd won. Poor devil, had no clue Sunday was coming. Easter!!! The amazing power of God brought Jesus back to life. And not just gave breath to that beaten and mutilated body that had been put in the tomb days before, but glorified Him. The power of God transformed Jesus' body to a new and perfect one that would never see death again!
He is victorious over death and because I am His, that enemy has been defeated, de-fanged. I don't have to fear--it has NOTHING on me! I belong to Jesus, His blood bought me from the marketplace of sin.
No guilt in life, no fear in death, This is the pow'r of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow/r of hell, no scheme of man, can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns of calls me home, Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.
And NOW, there is no condemnation, nor will there ever be for any one who belongs to Jesus. The enemy can't accuse us of owing anything--Jesus paid that debt in full! So I can live and not be afraid of anything, not even death. Because the power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in me. Whoa!
He is in charge of my life until my time on this earth is done. NOTHING can thwart His will for me--not even me! I cannot screw up the plans God has. So until He calls me home or comes back for me and I meet Him in the air, I will STAND firm in the power of the Spirit of God, who is the author of salvation.
I mean, who would have thought this up? The HERO created people. They screwed up. The HERO knew that the only way to make things right was for Him to come and live on earth as a human. He would live a perfect life, and die in the worst way possible--so that He could be the perfect substitute, a spotless Lamb that takes away the sin of the world.
What MERCY--we don't get what we deserve. We deserve to suffer the consequences of not being able to pay our debt. He paid our debt. But not just that. GRACE--He lavishes on us grace upon grace because of His resurrection. He shows us favor and gives us all that we need for this life, to live it for Him.
He doesn't promise us ease and comfort--don't be fooled to believe your life will be "fixed" and you'll be healthy and wealthy. He promises Himself and the riches and glory of eternity with Him.
While we're on this earth, we live with God's power in us. We are part of His Forever Family!
Only because of Jesus.
Thank you, Lord!
Monday, January 8, 2018
STEP ONE: Don't Get Rid of Stuff
Where to begin? At the beginning, of course.
When I am overwhelmed by stuff in a room or things screaming for my time, I tend to freeze up and not think very clearly. Which of course, makes it all worse!
Remember, before we can do anything, we need GRACE and TRUTH.
Believe that by His grace you are able to handle what God has given you. Trust that He will help you to find what He wants you to do. He will also show you what you have added on.
Adjusting our THINKING is critical before we can begin changing actions. You have to catch the lies and recognize the cynicism. Then find the reality, speak true statements. Re-frame the situation even.
Now.... (deep breath)
As clearly as you are able, write the answers. I'd expect a lot of adjectives. Make notes or draw pictures. Just let go and simply IMAGINE the possibilities. This may take a while. That's okay.
Think BIG PICTURE. Specifics will come. Right now, you're stepping way back and describing how you want your home (and/or schedule) to make your feel. Starting with your whole home, then maybe the living areas, then smaller spaces. Maybe a page for each space or area of your life.
Focus. Stay positive and just DREAM.
As you transform your space and your calendar into those ideal-for-you places and schedules, all the things that don't belong will naturally be displaced or discarded.
This step is working on the VISION you will need to carry you through the hard work of making it happen.
Will you let your mind imagine the possibilities? What if we could encourage one another along the way? Comment below (chose "anonymous" if necessary), but do leave a first name.
When I am overwhelmed by stuff in a room or things screaming for my time, I tend to freeze up and not think very clearly. Which of course, makes it all worse!
Remember, before we can do anything, we need GRACE and TRUTH.
Now.... (deep breath)
STEP ONE: With eyes that have been prepared to see, look at your days, your home, your space.
Take a fun notebook or journal and walk through your space. Pray as you do this, ask God to show you. Ask yourself:
- How would I feel if this room was organized?
- How would I (and my family) live in this space?
- What would we do here?
- What would we use here?
Or think about your time:
- What would we feel at the end of good day? week? month?
- What would we have done?
- Who would we have spent time with?
As clearly as you are able, write the answers. I'd expect a lot of adjectives. Make notes or draw pictures. Just let go and simply IMAGINE the possibilities. This may take a while. That's okay.
Think BIG PICTURE. Specifics will come. Right now, you're stepping way back and describing how you want your home (and/or schedule) to make your feel. Starting with your whole home, then maybe the living areas, then smaller spaces. Maybe a page for each space or area of your life.
Don't stop yourself from dreaming. Don't tell yourself something can't happen or won't happen. (Those are lies!) Just record your ideas, your dreams, your "ideal." If some room placement pops in your head, just record it. Don't force it, just walk around. Involve your family if you think they'd have something to say.
****RESIST the urge to start getting rid of stuff.****
Focus. Stay positive and just DREAM.
This step is working on the VISION you will need to carry you through the hard work of making it happen.
Will you let your mind imagine the possibilities? What if we could encourage one another along the way? Comment below (chose "anonymous" if necessary), but do leave a first name.
Friday, January 5, 2018
The Lies that Keep Us Stuck
What we believe and think really does matter. Human wisdom even acknowledges it. Intuitively, you know it.
Our actions follow our thoughts. When we dwell on something, we begin to act in accordance to those thoughts.
Thought life matters!
So for us, what we think about organization (whether of our physical stuff or our time) really affects us. And often, we are WRONG in our thinking and therefore STUCK in our actions.
Have you ever thought any of these?
You in? What lie are you telling yourself? Can you catch it and speak truth instead?
Our actions follow our thoughts. When we dwell on something, we begin to act in accordance to those thoughts.
Thought life matters!
So for us, what we think about organization (whether of our physical stuff or our time) really affects us. And often, we are WRONG in our thinking and therefore STUCK in our actions.
Have you ever thought any of these?
- I just can't ever be organized like _____.
- This is how I am wired.
- This is how I grew up--my mom never did anything either and I'm just like her.
- This is how I grew up--my mom did everything for me so I never learned.
- No one at home helps me (because they are too little or not interested) so I can't do it alone.
- I don't have time to be organized.
- I can't afford the things I need to be organized.
and the one that kept me stuck for so long:
- It doesn't really matter--there are more important things that I need to do.
Those are all lies. And you know it or you wouldn't be drawn to reading this.
And here is the hope:
YOU GET TO CHOOSE YOUR THOUGHTS!
You can think:
- I do not have to be organized like anyone, but rather be an organized version of me.
- I can learn new things, including how to be organized.
- I can use my past to teach me lessons but not to define my future.
- My mom did the best she could with what she knew at the time. (Don't we want that grace from our kids--who we pray we're not screwing up!?)
- I can train my kids to be organized versions of themselves (help them discover what works for them).
- I can do what I can do.
- My kids will be able to help eventually.
- My family will be better set up to help when they're ready.
- My family may be motivated to help when they see changes.
- Everyone has the same amount of hours in a day. I can choose to use my time where I need to.
- I can make changes that don't cost money.
- I can re-purpose things to help me be better organized.
and my newest, clearest thought:
- I can get to the important things because I am organized.
For too long, I had been prioritizing lots of "good" things and been NEGLECTING what looked so overwhelming. Until I started seeing that I would have freedom to think and plan and serve if I didn't have to worry about finding paperwork, or arts and craft supplies, or thinking of what to make for dinner. It has been slow and steady progress over many years of doing small things, taking baby steps, and adjusting how I think.
I caught myself telling someone I wasn't organized--because I still have so much I want to tackle.
But you know what? I have seen growth and I want to acknowledge that and maybe help others.
So I want to post things here that I've been afraid to share--maybe I do like it when people think I'm organized. LOL And where I've had victory, I don't want to contribute to someone thinking they can't be organized like me.
The truth is, I have been working on this for a long time. And I'm not done. And I'd love company on this journey.
You in? What lie are you telling yourself? Can you catch it and speak truth instead?
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