hearing His voice

well, we just started our new women's bible study at church yesterday. we're doing beth moore's Living Beyond Yourself. i have NEVER done a beth moore study. i saw the second half of the daniel study they did last summer, but didn't do the homework. i really like her. yes, i'm late arriving to bandwagon, but i'm here.

anyway. yesterday was the introductory session and i was challenged immediately. i know God will be using this material to shape me and grow me closer to Him. i am so excited.

this morning i was asking God to show me how i should be serving Him. is the stuff i do now really "beyond" me and was i straining and reaching? so i put it out there, actually even wrote it down. "show me what you want and i will obey."

less than an hour ago i get a phone call from my leader--i've been co-leading her group (basically taking attendance and lunch orders). they're asking her to take on another group and could i step up and lead this one.

whoa, first reaction, i have too much on my plate already, i can take roll and do some admin, but prepare to lead this group of mature ladies? no thanks. i'd really have to do my homework (yes, i admit i don't do all my homework). what about MOPS and my family and the kids school and on and on. man was i quick with the excuses.

then i had to laugh. i JUST asked him to show me what he wanted of me, and here it was. he wants to stretch me and force me to rely on Him alone. this is not the first time that i ask, out loud, for Him to show me. and last time i got an answer within an hour of my question. i LOVE that! now, i have no choice but complete and immediate obedience. He will supply all i need to do what He has asked of me.

i know my passion is encouraging other women, believing women, so this is the place. i still don't know how that'll play out with other things, but i am meeting today (had decided yesterday) with our women's pastor to go over some things. i am praying for wisdom in discerning what to do and what NOT to do. i am praying for godly mature women to cross my path, to mentor me, to live out their love for God so i can see.