Happy New Year...Again

It is NEVER too late to start again.  As long as you have breath, you can start over.  

There is nothing magical about January 1.

Don't believe the lie that you've already blown it.  

Take a deep breath and start again.

FOUR Steps to Build Discipline Muscle

There is a difference between things you want to accomplish and things you want to start doing.

When you make a list of things to do, usually those are all mixed together.  Right?

Things that get done, but then have to get done again next time you need to go to the grocery store or do the laundry.  

A project, however big or small, can be "checked off."  You can install shelves.  Or you can build a patio.  Or you can organize the sock drawer.  Or you can plan a party.  It has a "finished" or "done" state.

Habits are things you want to start doing with regular frequency.  You want to floss every day.  Or you want to do some sort of exercise three times a week.  Or you want to vacuum your car out once a month.  Or you want to have date night with your spouse every other week.  Or pray every day for your kids.

Obviously, there is no "finished" on those. 

Making recurring things "habits" and not "projects" has made a big difference in how I run my home and my life. Recurring tasks or appointments can be SCHEDULED or tied to something that is already happening at that frequency.

FOUR Steps to Build Discipline Muscle

While I cannot give specific advice about what YOU can do to install new habits, here are some steps you can take.

1. Decide WHAT habit you want to develop. 

2. Find a baby step.  Make it so small and easy that you won't have an excuse to skip it. 

3. Tie it to something you're already doing.

4. Once you "automate" it, go to the next baby step.

The goal is that you are working on your discipline--and like any muscle that starts off small and weak, you are building it up.  

Baby steps will still get you there!

Some Examples

If you want to get up earlier, just set your alarm for FIVE minutes earlier.  Maybe THREE minutes.  Something small and easy.  And as that becomes the new normal, keep moving earlier and earlier.  Keep the increment small and take your time.

Or maybe keeping the kitchen clear is what you want.  Start with just keeping all the dishes in one spot, or rinsing as you stack, or clearing the sink.  Or emptying the dishwasher as your coffee brews.  

Pick a baby step and add it in. Let it become a habit.  

I would love to talk specific ideas with you, but all depends on where you are and what's important to you.   Let's all help each other find the baby steps.

What do you want to start doing? 

NOTE: the comments area is finicky, I hear.  But if you are wondering how to get started, comment below.  Just use "anonymous" and sign your first name in the body of the message.

STEP ONE: Don't Get Rid of Stuff

Where to begin?  At the beginning, of course.

When I am overwhelmed by stuff in a room or things screaming for my time, I tend to freeze up and not think very clearly.  Which of course, makes it all worse!

Remember, before we can do anything, we need GRACE  and TRUTH.

Believe that by His grace you are able to handle what God has given you.  Trust that He will help you to find what He wants you to do.  He will also show you what you have added on.

Adjusting our THINKING is critical before we can begin changing actions.  You have to catch the lies and recognize the cynicism.  Then find the reality, speak true statements.  Re-frame the situation even.

Now.... (deep breath)

STEP ONE:  With eyes that have been prepared to see, look at your days, your home, your space.  

Take a fun notebook or journal and walk through your space.  Pray as you do this, ask God to show you. Ask yourself:

• How would I feel if this room was organized? 

• How would I (and my family) live in this space?  

• What would we do here?

• What would we use here?

Or think about your time:

• What would we feel at the end of good day?  week?  month?

• What would we have done?

• Who would we have spent time with?

As clearly as you are able, write the answers.  I'd expect a lot of adjectives.  Make notes or draw pictures.  Just let go and simply IMAGINE the possibilities.  This may take a while.  That's okay.

Think BIG PICTURE.  Specifics will come.  Right now, you're stepping way back and describing how you want your home (and/or schedule) to make your feel.  Starting with your whole home, then maybe the living areas, then smaller spaces.  Maybe a page for each space or area of your life.

Don't stop yourself from dreaming.  Don't tell yourself something can't happen or won't happen.  (Those are lies!)  Just record your ideas, your dreams, your "ideal."  If some room placement pops in your head, just record it.  Don't force it, just walk around.  Involve your family if you think they'd have something to say.

****RESIST the urge to start getting rid of stuff.****

Focus. Stay positive and just DREAM.

As you transform your space and your calendar into those ideal-for-you places and schedules, all the things that don't belong will naturally be displaced or discarded.

This step is working on the VISION you will need to carry you through the hard work of making it happen.

Will you let your mind imagine the possibilities?  What if we could encourage one another along the way?  Comment below (chose "anonymous" if necessary), but do leave a first name. 

The Secret to Being Productive

Getting started.

So often that is the hardest thing.  I just spent months not able to motivate myself or be motivated by anything.  So, if that's you, I feel your pain.  And I pray that this helps.

But getting started isn't the secret.  Grace is.

Specifically, God's grace.

Last month as I was looking at Romans, Chapter 8, I was gripped again by the amazing grace that God gives His children. Not only does He save us through faith in Jesus, He adopts us into His forever family.  He then gives us His Spirit to dwell within us.

What does it look like to live our lives with His Spirit living in us?  Paul gives us more information in Galatians (5:22-23):

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control

For me, all of those things made sense, but self-control did not seem to "match."

All the others can be expressed toward others.  It has always made sense to me that others need to see the "fruit."

But self-control?

Self-control speaks to me of "discipline."

Discipline quickly takes my mind to "work."

And work seems to oppose "grace."

But with every fiber of my being, I know I need grace.

And then this gem, also from Paul:

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me. 

1 Corinthians 15:10

AHA!

I need God's grace to be able to work, to be disciplined, to have self-control, to be productive!  That is why it's evidence of His Spirit in me!

When I'm self-controlled, I am choosing to live in the Spirit.  I am choosing to be dependent on God so that I can love like He loves, be gentle like He is, show kindness like He would, etc.  THEN others see the fruit of His Spirit in me.

When I am self-controlled, I am living out of my identity. 

I am His child and the only way I can live is as His child.  No going back. 

Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. 

Romans 8:12-13

I think the word "obligation" also startled me.   But it's not a "you have to follow this rule" kind of obligation, but "you can't help but to live this way because it is who you are now."

So, by the grace of God, I wrapped up 2017 and all of its disappointments and am looking with excitement at what God has in store for me as His child.  And I am getting started because of His grace working in me.

I strive to be organized and productive not for the sake of doing more things, but for the sake of doing the right things.

I want to be free to respond to His leading as I use my time and energy and whatever resources He has given me.  I want to be free from distraction so I can focus and be intentional.  I want to make time for what matters.

And I want to help others who may also want to walk this journey of making time for God and the people and things He has for us.

Ready to get started?

How to Use Your Calendar as a Stay At Home Mom

I have a confession.  I love Mondays.  Mondays are the first day of the week. A new beginning.  A fresh start.

I get a mini version of the feelings I get on January 1 each Monday.  More accurately, I get a glimpse of those end-of-the-year feelings every Sunday night. 

Hope. Excitement. Anticipation.

I look at where all my people and me have to be and when. 

At that point, I sometimes feel DREAD.  LOL

But I look at that week and find the times when we will be able to have meals together.  Sometimes it's just one dinner and I want to seize the opportunity to make a favorite.  I plan all meals (even the "what's easy to grab and go?" or "what will heat up well after all the games?").  I make the grocery list and the schedule the shopping trip. 

Tostadas are a family favorite and so easy!

I even write in when I have to pull out things from the freezer or prepare something that may be too time consuming the day of.  This area has seen the biggest growth in the last two or three years.  I'd forgotten how crazy meal time was before I started tackling it this way.

Then I schedule laundry and when I will run other errands.  I write in when I may be able to tackle a project.

Especially the stuff I avoid.  I make a date with  my closet or the utility drawer and then chip away at it.  I give myself permission to stop at the pre-determined time.  And rather than feel like I didn't finish, I know I got SOME of it done and know I will come back and work on it again until it's completed.

"What gets scheduled gets done."  -Michael Hyatt

I see where I have space to have lunch with a friend.  This is another area of growth. I trust that my "work" is getting done and I can take a few hours to nurture a friendship.

I love Mondays.  I wake up feeling ready for the week because I've made a plan.

So I was delighted to see that January 1 of this year is on a Monday.  Seems so fitting.

So enjoy stepping into this year.  I'm excited to execute my plans. 

One baby step at a time.  Scheduling what matters.

Praying for you.  Stay focused.  Don't let the year just happen to you. 

Six Steps to a Great New Year

1.  Say "Goodbye" to 2017

Do the work of looking back at how this year went.  Really celebrate the great stuff.  Acknowledge the not so great stuff.  Distill the lessons that will serve you.  Thank it.  Then put 2017 to bed.  It's the past.  

2.  Forgive and Learn

Only what you allow to impact 2018 will do so.  So if 2017 (or anything in your past) was not great, don't drag it into this year.  Simple, right?  Make the choice to leave it behind.  Use disappointments to propel you into the new year.  

"What if disappointment was just a road sign pointing us to personal transformation?"       Michael Hyatt

Learn the lessons and imagine a different outcome.  Chart a new course.  You have to do new things if you want to experience different results.  Forgive yourself and forgive others--and set yourself free.

3.  Dare to Dream 

Don't be afraid to dream and imagine how the next year could be.  Don't be a cynic.  Imagine 2018 as a fresh canvas and imagine.  Sketch, make lists, work on a vision board.   Dream!

4.  Dial It In

Now, dial it in.  Focus.  What are you ready to tackle?  Where would your energy and time be best spent?  Choose a word.  Or a theme.  Be specific and write things down.  Put your word or your goals in a place you'll see them each day.  Bedside?  Closet? Mirror? Screensaver?  Lock screen?  Front page of journal or planner?   

You have resources--skills, opportunities, experiences, relationships, finances, passion.  How will you use them?  You don't need to know every part of the plan, but you do need to have clarity on what you're shooting for.

5.  Find a Tribe

This is where you reach out and find others who can help you.  Find one or a few people who care about your personal growth and are on your side!  Share your specific goals and dreams with them--and with them only.  (Don't broadcast on Facebook--you'll get all the "likes" and not even have to do the work!)   

Keep your tribe posted on your progress.  Give them the permission to ask you how you're doing.  Allow them to be living reminders of those things that you are choosing to do this year.

6.  Get Started!

Take a deep breath and step into a great new year!  You've done the work, now trust the process of putting one foot in front of the other.  Remind yourself of what you've decided and keep moving.  Work the plan!  One step at a time.  Do the next right thing.  

Have a great 2018!

Wrapping up 2017

It's that a time of year.

Getting to the end of the planner, the last page on the calendar hanging in the hall, counting down to the new year.  There is excitement because of new beginnings right around the corner.

I enjoy the grace that a new year represents.  

A clean slate..

A fresh start.

For the past few years I have gone through a process of evaluating the year, reviewing lessons, making peace with what didn't happen, and giving myself permission to dream and set goals for the upcoming year. 

This has helped me be more purposeful about how I use my time, what I let go and what I take on.

This next year I want to try something different.  Invite some friends into the process.  Maybe build a little community that wants to be intentional in 2018.  

One of my passions these past few years has been to help others focus on what truly matters.  And before we can focus, we have to clear distractions and entanglements.  And we get clear on what matters.  And we set out in the direction we need to go.

Do you want to join me?