change in prespective

i so enjoy studying God's Word in community.  there is amazing growth that can happen when people are willing to be vulnerable and share their struggles, invite others to pray with them, hold them accountable.  i also like that we can challenge each other by how we approach God's Word from our own frame of reference.

the other night, someone's comment made me remember a fear that used to paralyze me, and although i still struggle with similar thoughts, it's not as bad.  why?  i hadn't noticed it changed, but it had.  it was a good exercise to look back at God's work in my life to transform me.

Romans 12:2 (NIV)

2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

pouring truth into my head and heart has crowded out the lies that i was believing.  i didn't have to fight each lie, i had to focus on pouring in truth.  that's really another lie the enemy tells us--you can't be close to God 'til you deal with the stuff that has you in bondage, the stuff that trips you up.  the TRUTH is that only God can free us from that--we are transformed with His help, as His life is developed in us.  SO focusing on HIM is the way to deal with the lies and the bondage and the paralysis.

back to the fear that gripped me, the lie went something like this:  if you devote yourself to God, then He will test you by sending all sorts of awful things your way.  He will test you--because He sends awful stuff to those who are ready for it.

NOT!  if i asked my friends that have been through trials if they felt "ready" for what came their way, they'd tell me, "i wasn't expecting that."  i can't believe i ever tried to comfort anyone with "God knew you could handle this."

so in those days of confusion, i kept God at an arm's length because i didn't want Him to trust me too much.  the root of that was selfishness--i didn't want to hurt, to suffer.  i thought too much of myself.  God was a nice idea, i got to learn sweet, practical lessons to help me live a life that kept trouble and pain away, but i thought that was good enough.

THAT WAS A LIE!  i was living a life that, from the outside, was good, but i knew that i felt unsatisfied.

i can't remember how it happened, but i went from fearing God to completely trusting His will for me, whatever it may be.  i went from focusing on this life to focusing on the next.  

2 Corinthians 4:18

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

my perspective changed--living for Him now, in this day gives Him glory because i am choosing to invest in what makes a difference for eternity.  i'm not looking at my own comfort or ease, i am maximizing what i can do for Him, by His power.  i'm much more motivated by what God thinks of me:

Matthew 25:23

“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

those are the words i want to hear one day.  His approval is worth any pain i can experience here.

2 Corinthians 4:17

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.