Dear Young Me

Time does fly.

There is much I don't remember about when my kids were little.  But there are things that are so vivid--maybe because I still deal with them.

Like the feeling of uselessness. Am I making a difference?  Is it worth it that I am staying home with my kids and not plugging away at that job? Did I waste my time getting that degree?  Who am I?


Dear Young Me:

You ARE doing something that makes the biggest difference to those little people that take you for granted.  It's only because they don't quite realize yet that you are not a part of them.  Their self-involved little mind that is only thinking of themselves actually includes you--they are learning where they end and you begin.

That's why they panic when they're missing a part of their body--YOU are part of them!  Wonder why they say "Da-da" first?  Because they're not talking to themselves yet!  

One day, they will realize you are another person, and they won't cry when you drop them off at the church nursery.  They will still be self-involved, but then you will be on the outside.  So, it sounds strange,but enjoy the separation anxiety.  One day you'll realize that they didn't even wave when you left.

But now, because you're attached at the hip, it is hard to find a spare moment to think, to learn, to be still and quiet.  But if you make the effort and guard any time you can grab to study God's Word, it will make you a better momma--please don't wait!  NOW is the best time.  Whatever your season, it's the best time.  Because God's Word has the medicine you need to fight the despair and the feelings of uselessness and the anxiety about doing things right and not screwing up your kids.  The medicine is TRUTH!  Please weigh very carefully any advice on being a better mom that does not include being in God's Word.

God's Word is where you will learn that your value has nothing to do with that job you prepared for, that dangled the carrot of partner, that promised to put a few letters behind your name, that gave you immense ego-soothing.  Your worth also has nothing to do with  how many words your kid can say or if you breastfed or used the right baby products.  It has EVERYTHING to do with the fact that you are a child of God--His because He made you, but His twice as much because He redeemed you.

And that Great, Big, Awesome, Powerful God did not trade the life of His Son for someone who isn't valuable--rather, He died for YOU.  And that makes you precious.  And there's more!  That Great, Big, Awesome, Powerful God has put you exactly where you are, given you the exact kids you have--you are the best mom for them.  God does not make mistakes.

And He doesn't give you work to do that He won't equip you to do.  He gives you what you need to live the life He has ordered for you. This life you now live, you live because this Great, Big, Awesome, Powerful God LIVES IN YOU!  That is some super mommy power right there!

It still blows my mind.  So find time to sit and let that truth wash over your brain, and erase all the lies you let yourself believe.  Wash, rinse, and repeat.  Above all other habits, this will anchor you.  Do not neglect it.  Brutally cut out other stuff.

And be careful.  There is a lie coming that all activity is equal.  It is not.  There are some things that are a hollow use of your time.  An hour in God's Word is not equal to an hour of TV which is not equal to an hour of conversation with a friend.  Part of you KNOWS this.  Be wise in how you spend the time--because everything around you wants to pull you to hollow pursuits.  Only God's Word and people are eternal.

Saying "no" to the things that don't have eternal value is hard, but SO worth it.  Fight the crazy in all areas of your life--do not be swept up by the argument that "everyone else is doing this." That's a lie.

Stand firm in TRUTH.  Learn to pray--it's like breathing.  You can't function unless you breathe.

Next time maybe I'll tell you about kids' sports...