A few years ago I learned a difficult lesson.
After a month-long stretch of serving God at my church, I declared for myself a well-"earned" vacation from serving. I slept in. I did NOTHING that could be considered useful to anyone. I did as little as I could to get by everywhere else.
I also got seriously depressed. I'm talking weepy and moody over everything and anything. It was awful and painful and a little embarrassing. It wasn't the first bout with something like that--nor the last. But in God's grace, I did recognize that it had to do with being in a season that immediately followed a "successful" ministry time.
The next year, I was on alert. I tried to be careful to eat well, to sleep, and of course, to spend time with God. I prayed for wisdom in dealing with what I knew was coming: the big let down.
That year, as I was grumbling about having to teach four- and five-year old kiddos, especially after one of the most intense periods of serving at church, God showed me something. I walked in that day ready to tell them the story of Paul waiting for news from Corinth. He had sent them a pretty harsh letter to rebuke and instruct them, and he still didn't know how they'd taken it.
Well, one of the points in the story was that as Paul was waiting to hear about the church in Corinth, he ministered in another city and God showed Paul love because many in the new city believed in Jesus. The harvest in this new city was how God showed Paul love and care. Because Paul didn't stop his mission until he heard about the church in Corinth--he kept serving God and doing what he was sent to do.
The epiphany: Paul was never idle. Furthermore, the OTHER work served to minister to him while he was discouraged.
Translation to my life: When I am spent in serving my church, I am recharged by serving at BSF. The danger for me is to play the "I deserve a break" game because when I am idle, I am prone to depression. Period. I know this about myself. I DO rest and recharge. I have simply learned what that really looks like for me.
I truly LOVE what I get to do at church and at Bible study. I get a little sad when people ask me, "Aren't you glad that's over?" Because I'm really not. I mean, I'm glad for the rest and change in focus, but I am also excited to do it again.
It really is sweet satisfaction to be spent in the service of my Savior.
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