Running Far, Far Away

Dear Younger Me:

You did it.  You finished high school.

You are heading very far from home.  Two thousand miles away.  Will that be enough?

No.  Because you're really running away from God.  You can't quite do that.

He's already where you're going!  You'll see His hand from time to time, but He's a Gentleman and you are not inviting Him into your life.  But He loves you with a love that will never end--even when you're rejecting Him.  So He will patiently wait.

You will make dear friends.  Your will learn how to navigate new places.  You will learn to dream again of what a future can hold.

You learn what others believe.  Their faith.  Their politics.  Their passions.  You will shape your own.

You are getting an amazing education and you don't see anything stopping you.  You dream of the life you'll have.   The places you'll go.  The things you'll own.  The ways you won't need God.

You remember where you came from.  Family.  Culture.  Food.  Even church.  You evaluate everything.  You resolve to take control.  You will forge your own path.  Perhaps this is another re-invention of yourself.

This feels different.  You are an adult.  These decisions matter.  Who will you be now?

You are not even 21 when you give up on love.  Ha!  How could you ever find another person to "have and to hold until death parts you?"

You want to give up on school sometimes.  But again that pride thing.  How could you just quit?  You will stay and you will finish and that's that.  And you may as well have lots of fun--and make stupid decisions.  You don't even realize how much could have gone terribly wrong.

And yet, your steps are guarded by the One who has a plan for your life.  He is giving you desires and dreams, and He will use them.  His way.  In His timing.  Nothing is wasted.

You do attend one church service the years you're there.  One.  Even taking the Bible someone gave you as a graduation gift when you finished high school.

You haven't forgotten Him.  Even if you're still a little confused by what you learned.

An unsuspecting pair of kids tried to start a conversation about spiritual matters once.  "Do you know where you would go if you died tonight?"

"Oh, I would definitely go to hell."

Blank stare.  Poor kids.  I don't know if they knew what to say.

"I know that I need to repent of my sins and accept Jesus as my Savior.  I'm just not ready or willing to do that."

That sums it up.

A year back in Texas will give you the second wind you need to finish.  It will also be when you meet the man that will join you on this crazy ride.

God knows what He's doing.  You'll learn that too.

**Click here for index of other posts in this #write31days series.